Hygiene…just a figment of the imagination.

I am Mooch/Moochie. period.

Now that you’ve regained composure from the title of today’s post, let’s look into this whole cleanliness thing.

With Indie music slowly infiltrating mainstream hip-hop music, indie fashion is also making a breakthrough. MGMT, Ratatat, Grizzly Bear, and other indie bands have definitely left their mark in the urban scene.  Their laid back, hobo-esque sounds are echoing onto the style of the streets.  The men’s fashion of today currently mimics the style of the early ’90’s so much that it would make the late great Kurt Cobain crack that frown and show a few teeth.  The idea behind the style is to look dirty, without being dirty, similar to a 19th century vagabond (without the foul smell and rotten teeth) – A cross between 19th century hobo and early 90’s post-grunge.  As an avid Gentleman’s Quarterly Magazine reader, men’s fashion has become an obsession.  From the scripture of all things holy in men’s fashion, I’ve composed a list of the new “it” things, that will make a girl stalk your Facebook like no one’s business and a guy secretly do the same.

The It List:

  • A beard A massive beard – some weren’t given the God-given ability to grow a beard, which is fine, but for those who can – let it grow! (Now that spring is approaching, 5 o’clock shadows and completely bare faces will do as well)
  • A worn leather bomber jacket – a leather jacket can go a long ways, one that looks like it’s already been a long ways looks even better.
  • A brown leather Oxford shoe – this paired with fitted jeans or rolled up hobo-esque pants is a GREAT combination.
  • A tweed trench coat – Now that people are beginning to put those winter coats on sale, GRAB ONE! For the Spring, a classic trench is also acceptable.
  • Accessories – Guys, don’t skimp on the accessories! A printed scarf is hot! (not necessarily a shemagh scarf – if I see another one, I’ll vomit) Don’t be scared of bold prints and bright colors – they actually make you look good. Not girly – good.  Hats – go big, go bold, go slouchy.
  • The Henchman Jacket – you know those jackets that all the henchmen wear in the action movies? The lined-khaki parka? When you find one that fits, put it in your shopping cart.
  • The ugly sweater – the big, bright, bold sweater. It’s comfy, and cute. What more could you ask for?
  • Jeans – slim fit. period. Oversized jeans are not the business.
  • Swag – I actually hate that word now, but it’s a must. You can look fly as hell, but if you don’t have the confidence to wear it, you’ll be going home alone.  “One who waits, masturbates.” (Not necessarily relevant, but humorous nonetheless.)

I say all of this not to knock anyone’s current fashion sense, but to inform you that there is more to men’s fashion than fitteds, clever tee’s, and the latest Jordans.

Also, I can’t stress enough that the goal is to look “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, not to smell like actual teen.


About Moochie

music. snob. extraordinaire.
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One Response to Hygiene…just a figment of the imagination.

  1. jdizzle says:

    FINALLY!!! a woman who can preach style to the masses…or the UVA male population rather..I know we all have our bad days–especially at this school, but fellas please. Listen to this lady. She knows what she’s talking about. 🙂

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